In the garden of our minds, the seeds of our experiences are sown during our early years. These seeds, representing events and the messages we receive, are often beyond our control.

Did you know that 1 in 5 parents grapple with postpartum depression or anxiety? These feelings can be especially overwhelming for mothers who have faced the heartache of infertility, miscarriages, or unexpected C-sections or other traumatic birthing experiences. Often, these moms carry the weight of beliefs like "I am not enough" and "I am not safe/my baby is not safe" as they navigate the turbulent waters of new motherhood.

For example, imagine a busy mom of 2 who continues to feel like she can’t get anything done, who often yells at her kids and feels guilty about it later. She tries her best to push down her feelings but at certain times, she explodes and feels helpless and angry at herself. She’s tried weekly therapy but it hasn’t made any long lasting changes because life keeps going and there’s always a new problem or trigger in her life as a mom. EMDR intensives are an option for this mom- an option that will save her time, money and pain in the long term.

Many moms find themselves feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and struggling to prioritize their own needs. They often feel trapped, unable to express their true emotions and assert themselves without feeling guilty or facing potential consequences.

As a mom, it's essential to recognize the importance of taking time alone to recharge and nurture your own well-being. By taking time alone, away from kids and partners, moms can start to remember and sense into who they are as a person, not just as a mom.

Practice saying out loud that "the bad doesn't erase the good". Simply put, there will be moments where you question your sanity. There may be increased tantrums, maybe potty accidents even in a kid who hasn't had any in a while.

I’m of the mindset that people do not do things for “no reason”. So, in the spirit of this lens, I view this cycle of over-scheduling, and taking on more work as a way of attempting to solve a problem.

Myth: You Must Commit to Meeting Weekly or More With Your Therapist

My Take: I’ve heard this from a lot of people that you have to be able to meet weekly or even twice a week in order to do emdr. Not true. Again, I wouldn’t withhold CBT from someone if their schedule or financial situation prevented them from being seen weekly. It’s not accurate, and it’s not right to tell people that they “must” spend a specific amount of time or money to deserve treatment and healing. And, this can be seen as yet another way the mental health field/industry is gatekeeping wellness and it disproportionately affects lower SES and BIPOC folks.

Recognize how it impacts you. That means, take a second to think about what striving for perfection has cost you. Maybe it cost you time spent with loved ones or doing something fun because you were worrying about how to seamlessly complete a task.

Do you find yourself thinking things like “there’s no point asking for help because I’ll just have to do it myself” or “they never do it the right way so I’ll just do it to save myself time later”?

If you relate, there’s an explanation. This can be related to the theme of responsibility which is a common type of response for folks who experienced parentification as a child. Parentification is when kids/tweens/teens are given the responsibilities of an adult.

One of my favorite ways to regulate my emotions or self soothe when I’m feeling overwhelmed, on guard, or tense is to use a butterfly hug (tapping) with a very short visualization.

This time of year, we're often asked about gratitude. What are we thankful for? What do we have that makes us feel grateful? We're supposed to say things like family, health, food on the table, or our jobs. For some people, this is easy. But for many of us, gratitude is more complicated than that.