EMDR Therapy for Infertility, Birth Trauma and Postpartum
Birth trauma, infertility, miscarriage, abortion, unplanned C-sections and more can effect parents’ postpartum mood, bonding and overall experience in daily life
Experiencing birth trauma including infertility, pregnancy loss, unplanned C-Section can feel like the loneliest place in world. You may wonder if anybody understands what you’ve gone through. You are not alone.
Why did this happen to me?
You never thought this would happen to you. Moments of joy and anticipation overtaken by grief, anger and overwhelm. You’ve tried to move on from your loss but no matter what you do it feels like it happened yesterday. On good days, you smile, and have moments of normalcy, but those days are few. Most days, you wonder why this happened to you and your family, what could you have done differently to have had a different outcome?
As you try to answer the inevitable question of “why did this happen to me?” you wonder what it is about you that makes bad things happen. Your logical part tells you that “sometimes bad things happen to good people '', though in your gut you wonder if you’re actually not a good person after all.
You desperately want to stop living in the past, surrounded by pain, confusion and worry but it feels like there’s a fog that you can’t escape. Part of you wants a redo, another shot at birth, conception, pregnancy or the type of newborn experience you dreamed of. Another part of you is terrified this will happen again.
Does anybody understand what I’m going through?
Many of my clients feel isolated, like nobody understands what they went through. So many well intentioned folks in their lives try to avoid the discussion of miscarriage, unplanned C-section, infertility because it makes them uncomfortable. People around you are focusing on “at least you…” statements that sting every single time you hear them. What you want is to be heard, to have somebody understand that just because the event is over, doesn’t mean it’s over for you.
A lot of folks I work with who experienced birth trauma are then inundated with triggering content (images, words, people, sounds) in the form of social media, relatives, coworkers, friends, podcasts, movies and more. Some common triggering situations my clients experience before EMDR include:
Hearing about someone else’s birth story that went as planned- this can bring up feelings of anger, shame, envy and the urge to avoid that person or want to hide
Any birth announcements, pictures of moms and babies after birth, content about the type of birth you hoped for (home birth, medication, water, midwife v doctor, VBAC or vaginal birth)
Seeing/going back to the doctor or environment involved in your birth or infertility treatments, experience
Moms I work with just want to be able to live in the present moment or even plan for the future without feeling suffocated by their traumatic experience. Trauma affects so much more than just our emotions- every time you get reminded on some level of the trauma, there can be body changes such as chest tightness, shortness of breath, sweating, crying, tension in jaw/shoulders/back and more. Additionally, your brain then filters everything through the lens of your experience. For example, a mom who had a miscarriage may want to try to conceive again but she can’t stop thinking “something will go wrong” or “I’m sure I’ll mess this up too”.
You have permission to heal. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting.
You aren’t alone.
You're not alone in this journey. EMDR therapy offers a path forward, helping you navigate the tangled emotions and painful memories so you can reclaim your present and future. With EMDR, you can learn to live in the moment, untethered from the past traumas that have held you back from experiencing joy, hope and confidence. By processing the distressing memories and beliefs associated with your birth trauma, you can find relief from the constant triggers, body tension, and overwhelming emotions and thoughts. Together, we'll work to unravel the knots of self-doubt and fear, empowering you to rewrite the narrative of your experience and step into a future filled with hope and resilience. You deserve healing, and EMDR therapy can help you find it.
Now, imagine a life where you feel empowered, grounded, and connected to your inner strength. EMDR therapy is not about erasing the past, but rather about transforming it into a source of wisdom and growth. Through targeted processing and reprocessing of traumatic memories, EMDR enables you to integrate these experiences into your narrative in a way that feels empowering and liberating. You'll discover newfound resilience and self-compassion as you release the burdens of guilt, shame, and self-doubt that have weighed you down for so long.
As your therapist, I'll be your guide on this journey of healing and self-discovery. Together, we'll create a safe and supportive space where you can explore your emotions, challenge negative beliefs, and cultivate a deeper sense of self-worth and acceptance. (Reminder that acceptance doesn’t mean you ‘like’ or are happy with what you experienced) With EMDR, you have the power to rewrite your story and embrace a future filled with hope, resilience, and possibility. You are worthy of healing, and I'm here to help you every step of the way.