Are You an Anxious Mom Planning a Vacation? Tips to Stress Less and Enjoy More
Ever feel like you’re the one creating and curating magical moments for your kiddos and yet there are very few photos with you in them? Moms, here are some tips for enjoying the vacations you intricately plan!
Taking vacations is important for families because it allows them to spend quality time together away from their daily routines and responsibilities. Vacations provide opportunities for families to bond, create lasting memories, and strengthen relationships. Additionally, vacations can be educational and expose children to new cultures, experiences, and perspectives. Research also suggests that taking vacations can improve mental health, reduce stress, and increase happiness. Overall, vacations are a valuable investment in family well-being with long lasting positive benefits!
With all of the tasks moms already do, the mental load can become so overwhelming that vacations are experienced as simply parenting elsewhere instead of a fun trip with loved ones. Moms face numerous challenges when planning a family vacation, such as finding a destination that appeals to everyone, managing the budget, coordinating schedules, and ensuring the safety and comfort of their children. They also have to consider packing and transportation logistics, as well as keeping their kids entertained throughout the trip. Planning a family vacation can be a stressful and demanding task for moms, but with some realistic planning and preparation (and managing expectations), it can also be a rewarding and enjoyable experience for the whole family. Let's take a look at some tips for planning a less stressful vacation.
3 Tips for The Planning Process to Reduce Your Future Stress
1. Plan for the family you have, not someone else's. This means that even if your bff just went on the same trip and did river rafting, you don't need to make river rafting mandatory. Take into consideration the age of your kiddos, their capabilities, their interests as well as your own! If you know that typically your child feels overwhelmed and overstimulated after about an hour around crowds, please keep this in mind. Or if you are in toddler season as opposed to school age kids, being realistic about your kiddo’s stamina will come in handy (a 4 year old can’t keep up with a 10 year old and trying might make things worse). Your vacation doesn't have to look like everyone else's.
2. Have realistic expectations of the planning process. You *might* forget to pack something. You may wish you would have brought that extra motrin or water bottle. You are human, and forgetting some stuff for a trip happens! (I forgot a water bottle for my kid...) When you try and predict everything ahead of time, it can stress you out so much that by the time the trip comes you feel disconnected and just want a nap. Try some little acts of kindness toward yourself pre-vacay, like giving yourself credit for all the amazing planning you did to make it possible! I have also found it helpful to make a list of “Must Pack” items and prioritize those above all else. This will look different for every family. For example, if you have a child who has asthma, packing their inhaler will be paramount. That can go on the “Must Pack” side as opposed to placing immense energy into packing everyone’s toothbrushes which are easily replaceable.
3. Stay flexible. This, of course, goes without saying as a parent but even more so on vacation. Having the ability to pivot where needed away from your plan has helped countless moms bring some joy back into the experience of vacationing. One way of doing this is to prioritize activities that allow for more spontaneity. This might be going to the beach or a museum which are more open ended instead of opting for a strict 9am boat trip that is non refundable. This doesn’t mean not to plan anything or that kids cannot follow a schedule. However, it does mean that you’ll be less stressed out over missing out on experiences. This goes for other aspects of your trip as well- what your kids will wear, daily routines and eating habits will likely shift away from the typical everyday flow. Instead of fighting the reality of things not going as planned, accept that part of it is yet to be decided. And whatever way it goes will be the way it goes.
Remember to Take Time for Yourself to Recharge or Reset
Taking time for yourself as a mom on vacation is crucial for your mental and physical well-being. While it may be tempting to fill your days with activities for your family, it's important to carve out some time for yourself. Now, this may not look like taking an entire day to hit the spa (although maybe it does!). You may need to get creative depending on your family’s needs, age of kids, type of trip, etc.
Here are some ways I’ve found to be helpful for recharging your battery:
Play with wake up times. Maybe you love nothing more than sleeping in, which in daily life you rarely get the chance to do. If this is you, take at least one morning to sleep in, have the day start later, have your partner do the morning routine. Alternatively, you may cherish the alone time of waking early and enjoying the quiet, maybe with a cup of coffee and pleasant view.
Move your body. Movement, in a myriad of ways, can signal our nervous systems to shift. This creates a change in body tension, can lessen anxious based thinking or racing thoughts, and impact your mood drastically. This movement doesn’t need to be what you think of as exercise though if that’s something you already enjoy, go for it! Some of my favorite ways to move my body when I don’t have a lot of time are:
Dancing! Just moving around to a favorite song whether it be fast or slow makes me feel connected and present.
Quick body scan. I’ll sit and bring my awareness to whatever part has tension in that moment, usually my shoulders and face, and notice it. As I notice the tension or distress, I picture the tension melting away. I drop my shoulders, let them ease up. I let my tongue fall from the roof of my mouth.
Bend and stretch. I’ll take a minute and fold my body in half, and just let it hang. This allows my body to experience different sensations, it feels different to be stretching than it does to be upright, and just notice what comes up.
Practice saying out loud that "the bad doesn't erase the good". Simply put, there will be moments where you question your sanity. There may be increased tantrums, maybe potty accidents even in a kid who hasn't had any in a while. Expect this, and the weight of having it be "perfect" will have lifted. When we fight reality (like the fact that my toddler who loves Mickey was screaming to go home after being in the magic kingdom for 15 minutes), it keeps us staying miserable. Accept the negative moments but don't discount ALL of the positive ones! (Like my kid sharing a tender moment with Mulan in EPCOT). There will be so much to cherish when you return home
Your vacation will not always go as planned. And that’s normal. It doesn’t mean that you don’t get to enjoy it, however it unfolds. By remaining open and flexible with plans, and keeping your specific family’s needs in mind, you are laying the foundation for an enjoyable and less stressful trip. And if you are feeling overwhelmed, you can choose to use a quick skill, it doesn’t have to dictate your whole day! Moms deserve to have fun on these trips, not just be responsible for everyone else’s fun.
I hope this post was helpful and has given you some confidence in being able to be present on your next vacation!
