Mom guilt is a term that's often thrown around to refer to the concept of perfectionism as a mother, and the ways in which moms feel pressured to constantly keep up with unrealistic expectations. This resonates with many anxious moms in Youngstown, OH, and beyond. But what about the other type of guilt—the one that isn't about striving for perfection but about longing for the life you had before kids?

What’s Mom Guilt Really About?

On social media, and even in casual conversations, mom guilt has been talked about for years to succinctly capture the feelings of inadequacy many moms experience. The expectation that you should be the perfect mom—whether it’s creating Pinterest-worthy birthday parties or always being calm and nurturing—sets you up for failure. But even beyond that, another kind of guilt eats away at mothers: the guilt associated with grief over their pre-kid lives.

Guilt and Grief Combined: Missing Your Pre-Kid Life

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I like to call this grief guilt. It’s not just about the pressures of being a perfect mom, but the internal conflict moms face when they find themselves missing their pre-motherhood days. This feeling is normal, but many moms I work with feel ashamed for even thinking about their former lives. Some moms step into motherhood and everything clicks—it feels like they were born for this role. But for others, that transition is harder, and it’s completely okay to miss the spontaneity and freedom of life before kids. Whether it's missing your career, social life, or simply having time to yourself, these feelings can create guilt that’s hard to shake.

When you're constantly bombarded with messages like "motherhood should be fulfilling" and "you should treasure every moment," it can feel isolating to admit that you're struggling. Many moms internalize this guilt, creating negative thoughts like:

“I’m a bad mom because I’m not enjoying every moment.”
“There must be something wrong with me for missing my old life, especially when so many women would give anything to be a mom.”
“Other moms don’t feel this way. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be a mom.”

These thoughts are painful and can intensify feelings of anxiety, especially for moms who already feel overwhelmed. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are not a reflection of your abilities as a mom. They’re a natural part of the grieving process, and you can find ways to cope with them.

How Guilt and Shame Manifest Physically and Emotionally

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As an EMDR for birth trauma therapist working with anxious moms in Youngstown, OH, I often see how unresolved guilt and shame can manifest both emotionally and physically. When we don’t process these emotions, they get stored in our bodies, causing tension, stress, and sometimes even physical pain. This can show up as headaches, backaches, or that persistent feeling of heaviness or fatigue.

For example, if your mother-in-law makes a seemingly harmless commeint about how another mom is managing arts and crafts with her children, you might feel like it’s a direct attack on your parenting abilities. This reaction often stems from the unprocessed guilt or grief over the life you feel you’ve “lost.” The weight of this guilt compounds over time, leading to increased anxiety, irritability, and stress.

For moms who’ve also experienced traumatic births, this anxiety can feel even heavier. Birth trauma in Ohio affects many women, leaving them with emotional scars that add to the guilt and shame. Whether it’s a difficult labor, medical complications, or feelings of helplessness during the birth process, these experiences can amplify mom guilt. If you’re feeling this way, EMDR for birth trauma can be a powerful tool to help you reprocess those memories and release the emotional burden they carry.

How to Deal with ‘Grief Guilt’

Recognizing that it’s normal to grieve your pre-mom life is the first step to healing. Here are some ways to manage these feelings:

1. Talk to Someone About It

Sometimes, simply talking about your feelings with someone you trust can be incredibly validating. You don’t have to carry this weight alone. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or therapist, having someone listen without judgment can make a huge difference. If you feel like your usual support system isn’t enough, reaching out to a professional therapist can help. As an infertility mental health therapist in Ohio, I’ve helped many moms process their feelings of guilt and grief in a safe, supportive environment.

2. Consider Therapy

Therapy is one of the most effective ways to address mom guilt. It’s a place where you can feel seen and heard without judgment. In therapy, we work on identifying the negative beliefs that contribute to your feelings of guilt and grief. I often recommend EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for moms who are struggling with unresolved trauma or negative thoughts. If you’ve experienced birth trauma in Ohio or are dealing with the emotional toll of infertility, EMDR intensives can help you reprocess those memories and reduce the emotional intensity they carry.

3. Take Social Media Breaks

One of the biggest contributors to mom guilt is the constant comparison to other moms on social media. Seeing curated, filtered versions of motherhood can make you feel like you’re not doing enough. Set boundaries for yourself around social media usage. Unfollow accounts that make you feel anxious or inadequate, and limit the amount of time you spend scrolling each day. Remember, you’re seeing a highlight reel, not the full picture.

4. Learn to Say No

It’s easy to say yes to everything—school events, extra responsibilities, social engagements—because you feel like you should. But overloading yourself only adds to the anxiety and stress. Learning to say no is an important skill that will not only protect your well-being but also set a positive example for your children. They will learn that it’s okay to prioritize themselves when necessary.

5. Take Time for Yourself

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Even short breaks can help you recharge. Whether it’s taking a walk, calling a friend, or treating yourself to a quiet cup of coffee, these moments of self-care can make a big difference. You don’t need to plan an extravagant vacation to feel recharged—small acts of self-kindness are enough to start making a difference.

EMDR for Birth Trauma and Infertility

If you’ve experienced birth trauma or are navigating the emotional challenges of infertility, these issues can exacerbate feelings of guilt and anxiety. EMDR for birth trauma and infertility is a powerful therapeutic tool that can help you heal. By reprocessing painful memories and negative beliefs, EMDR allows you to feel more at peace with your experiences. You don’t have to carry the weight of these traumas alone—support is available.

Finding Support for Anxious Moms

Mom guilt is something nearly every mother experiences, but it doesn’t have to take over your life. For anxious moms, addressing the underlying beliefs and emotions that fuel this guilt is key to finding peace and healing. Whether you’re dealing with birth trauma in Ohio, the emotional toll of infertility, or the everyday stressors of motherhood, therapy can provide the support you need to move forward.

As a therapist for anxious moms in Youngstown, OH, I specialize in helping mothers navigate the complex emotions of motherhood, so you can feel more confident, calm, and connected to your family. If you’re ready to start your healing journey, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me today. You deserve support, and together, we can work toward a healthier, happier you.

Support for Anxious Moms in Youngstown& Throughout Ohio Through EMDR

Motherhood can bring overwhelming feelings of guilt, stress, and anxiety, but you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Whether you’re facing the emotional toll of infertility, struggling with the aftereffects of birth trauma in Ohio, or feeling weighed down by the pressures of being a mom, EMDR therapy offers a powerful path to healing. Anxious momsi n Youngstown, OH, deserve to find relief, release self-blame, and regain confidence in their role as a parent. Follow these steps to get started with the best therapist for moms:

Schedule a free intro call with me today
Book your first EMDR Intensive session and start reclaiming your peace of mind.
You don’t have to carry the weight of anxiety or trauma alone—support is here for you.

Other Virtual Therapy Services I Offer in Ohio

As a therapist for anxious moms and an infertility mental health therapist in Ohio, I offer a variety of services to help you start living a life you love. One of my specialties is providing EMDR intensives and birth trauma therapy in Ohio. Which can help with birth trauma, infertility, anxiety, past trauma, and more. Plus I also offer EMDR for grief and therapy for infertility in Ohio. If you are a mother who needs support contact me today.

The Other Type of Mom Guilt (That’s Less Talked About and Equally Harmful)