Common Traits in Stressed Out Millennial Moms
Ever wonder what other millennial moms are struggling with? Here’s some information on themes I see the most in my work with perfectionist, millennial moms. Spoiler alert: you’re not alone and you didn’t make these up!
When I work with folks using an EMDR Therapy lens, I’m always looking for “what’s this really about?” Most often, the factors present that make someone seek therapy are symptoms of a bigger theme or issue in that person’s life. Learn more about starting EMDR looks like here.
Here are the 3 most common themes I see in my practice and some possible signs that they apply to you:
Responsibility. This may resonate with you if:
You often feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to predict/eliminate future harm (like harsh reactions from a loved one, yelling screaming, rejection, etc)
You were forced to keep yourself and other safes from a young age
You had to caregive for siblings/parents as a child
You may be a child of an alcoholic or person who used substances who had to ensure the household was maintained
Value. This may resonate with you if:
You often worry about (not) living up to others’ expectations
You constantly compare yourself to other moms/spouses/caregivers/professionals and feel as though you continue to fall short
You grew up receiving specific messages about your body/worth from your family, whether intentional or not (“wow she really likes to eat, doesn’t she?” or “you’re really gonna wear that?”)
You have family members who criticize strangers who look/sound/act just like you (fat shaming, making fun of how people talk/read/write/etc)
You are a perfectionist/avoid mistake at all cost
You were/are often ignored, your opinion wasn’t listened to, or your opinions were ridiculed
Choice. This may resonate with you if:
You have had terrible things happen to you/to loved ones that were out of your control (trauma)
Your family used corporal punishment growing up/intimdiation was used often in your home
You’ve learned to “not make waves” to keep the peace (and to avoid big reactions or painful reactions from others)
You feel trapped or stuck
You aim to please others so that things go smoothly
You have a hard time saying no/setting boundaries
If any of these speak to you, know that you are not alone. Therapy can help you to identify these themes, how the past is influencing your present and reduce the charge and intensity of triggers. Schedule a free consult appointment with me to see if we’re a good fit.
